Love The Process

love the process

Trick: How to Get Kids Attention

Originally published September 16th 2012

Earlier this week my oldest was so interested in a book being read in class that she brought it home, with the express purpose of reading it to us. I thought that was really interesting, and she did a pretty good job.

Later in the week I was walking through the grocery store with the kids when I grew frustrated with some of their behaviour. I thought about putting them back in line, then about how they might react to that. I really didn’t want to spoil the positive mood – I just wanted to curb their behaviours.

Somehow I came up with the idea of narration

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A Childhood Wasted

Every time I look at what my kids are doing/have done in the Royal Canadian Air Cadet program I can’t help but look back at my youth and realize that I completely wasted it. Sometimes I just sit with that crappy feeling for days as I agonize over my lost personal development opportunities. Ultimately, what gets me out of that mental trap is the obvious realization that I would not actually choose to do my past differently because it would prevent me from having the family that I have now.Read More »

Responsibilities, Privileges, and Consequences

Several years ago I created this 2-page document to help me keep my kids on track. I find it hard to stay on top of a person, telling them what to do all the time, reminding etc. It drives me mental. I do not like to be the person to cause grief or strain, which really gets in the way of doing what a parent needs to do. I often turn to lists, charts, posters, etc to help defer the work and pain.

In the doc, I try to be fun or silly, but real and honest. I wanted it to be more than a list of instructions and more of a guide for life.


My Responsibilities as a Good Person

Morning Responsibilities

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Parenting Tip: Don’t BE the Bully

Kids going to school in the 80s and 90s did not get the same exposure to “bullying” as kids do now. The bully back then was a real stand-out kid, the stereotypical macho, hyper-aggressive, low-intellect, unhygienic, knuckle-dragging waste of human flesh. Well, that’s I looked at them.

The Bullying Paradox

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Looking Back on Life – Time With Your Kids

You will never look back on your life and think, “I spent too much time with my kids.

Are You Sure That’s Bullying?

“When we fail to distinguish between bullying and ordinary meanness, we trivialize the very serious cases of peer abuse,”

–Eileen Kennedy-Moore

Here’s a link to an interesting article from the Washington Post: Not all unkindness is bullying. Here’s why we need to teach kids to differentiate. by Braden Bell.

In this article the author discusses witnessing students in his classes develop differently as a result of their parents being too quick to label negative behaviours as bullying.

Here’s a summary of the ideas, but go check it out in full:

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Parents Must Step Back

“the ultimate goal of all parenting should be to help our children be autonomous and competent.”

–Jessica Lahey

Here’s a link to an interesting article from the Washington Post: To raise independent kids, treat middle school like a dress rehearsal for life by Braden Bell.

In this article the author discusses his 5th child attending middle school where he is a teacher, and very clearly describes the things he will be teaching his child – indirectly and sometimes directly.

Here’s a summary of the ideas, but go check it out in full:

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Time Management

One of the things we do as parents is race around from place to place trying to make sure that our kids get to all their activities on time. Part of that chaos is preceded by constant pushing of our kids to be ready.

This is unproductive because it is unsustainable.
If we manage their time, they will not learn how to do it themselves.

A Solution?

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Bruce Lee Teaches You How to Live Life

Bruce LeeBruce Lee (李小龍, 1940-11-27 to 1973-07-20 [32yrs]) is a Martial Arts icon known throughout the world as one of the best –if not THE best– martial artist to ever live. He changed the game not only for martial arts training in North America, but also for how Asians are represented in Hollywood, inspiring countless people all over the planet to become actors, fighters, and teachers. He was my idol when I was in high school and remains an influential figure to me today.

He was an absolute boss; he trained literally all the time, even while driving. More than a sensational fighter he was also a movie and TV star, a passionate husband and father, a deep philosophical thinker and devourer of books. He developed his own styles: Jun Fan Gung Fu and later Jeet Kune Do, which are filled with his thoughts on not conforming to the rigidity of a single style and the exploration of what is most effective for the individual in any given situation. Perhaps he is even the founder of the now ultra-popular MMA sport.

How does this all apply to Parenting? Well, his philosophies on living up to your potential are timeless, ageless, and we should be teaching them to our kids. Bruce Lee was not about kicking ass or building muscles. Bruce Lee was about reaching deep inside yourself and dragging a better you to the surface.

Below I show what Bruce saidRead More »