This ALWAYS leads to more kids wanting to play, and I always welcome them to join in. The other kids like to play tag with me – specifically the boys because they are usually more athletic and want to try to catch me. The other girls like to be chased and have me come to them. It’s a balancing act between my fun chasing and evading, and not losing sight of my own girls and making sure I play with them too.

Many of the other kids like to play rough with me and want me to pick them up, like I do with my own kids. I usually don’t but by this time in the school year there are a few kids that I’ve seem repeatedly and I’ve built a bit of a familiarity with them, so I will, on occasion, pick them up too. What’s interesting about that kind of contact playing is that I can see in the eyes and body language of so many children that they are interested in it, but something prevents them from getting THAT close to me. I’m not complaining because I think that’s good to see the critical thinking on their part.

There are some kids who go insane when I pick them up or hold them and help them jump higher than they normally can. It’s as though they’ve never been given attention from another human before and they’re so excited that they run away from me jumping and screaming!

There is a kid who comes running up to me every morning and just stands near me, waiting for me to see him. When I see him his face breaks into smiles and then he tries to run away, which I’ve learned means “chase me.” If I do not pick him up, or at least hug his head, he follows me. However, as soon as I give him either of those he is satisfied.

Another girl sneaks up on me and violently explodes with verbal and physical excitement as she grabs my arm in the tightest of hugs! She has been a pain in the but because nothing I could do would make her behave on any level of normal, and I would avoid her. One day when I finally shook her off (because of the school bell) I hugged my daughter, then turned to leave. There she was – waiting for me STILL! I sarcastically asked, in a baby-tone, if she was waiting for a huggy-poo too. She immediately said YES! I thought, ah to hell with it, let’s see if she means it. I hugged her head – because a proper hug just wouldn’t be right – and to my surprise she just smiled as big as her face would allow, then left. Quietly too.

The next time I saw her I intercepted her over-the-top behaviour with another hug to her face and her level of excitement scaled back to only freaking out. All she wanted was some attention – specifically a hug.

The diversity is great. Some guys only want to see if I can catch them, and when I do they leave or try harder, depending. Some girls only want to watch while others want to be chased and never EVER caught. The old “permanently on ‘T’ routine.”

I am now known by most of the kids in this school as “A’s” or “B’s” Dad and I seem to have made them more popular. After the bell, and when the kids are filing into the school, I walk back to my car, and as I walk past the late kids arriving many of them will say Hi “‘A’s’ Dad!” with smiles of varying sizes on their faces. “A” mentions to me quite often that kids who do not even know her know who I am (yea, she likes the attention.)

When I left the school this morning, as I passed one of the doorways, a man with a white beard (not employed by the school) said to me, with a warm smile on his face, “Excuse me… You’re one of the good fathers.” I was out of breath at this point so I could only manage a winded thank you, with a smile, in return.

Needless to say, it’s a boat-load of fun for me! This morning we played so much tag that I couldn’t catch my breath for 15 minutes after the bell! I just sat in the car panting like a dog, fogging up my windows.

Having said all that, there is a down side to all of this. There are people who do not want me to interact with their kids. I am a big kid. I am energetic, and for many parents that it is too extreme for them. There are parents who want their kids to be calm and in control at all times. I tend to really bother these parents, but their kids gravitate towards me because I am the polar opposite of what they get on a routine basis. School is so sedate and mediocre, and to have a less energized home life is no fun.

Example: My oldest had a friend over for dinner this past weekend and while setting the table with us he commented, “This house is crazy!” He was smiling and having fun while saying too. Another comment from him to my daughter was, “Is it like this every day?” To be honest, we were having more fun than normal because it was a weekend, and routines were previously handled specifically for him to be able to visit.

So back to the people who do not like my ways. Cristy reminds me that some people will not like how I play, and she is right. Some people will get angry at me while others cannot relate to me but allow their kids to play while watching them – or more accurately, Me – closely. But I’ve noticed something interesting: Whenever I take the girls to the open gym night at the school, or to a park, or any other place where parents would take their kids for the purpose of having fun, and those kids play with us, the parents usually are much better about it all. It seems to me that whenever I we’re playing with kids in a common area, that’s not specifically designated as a fun zone, the parents that don’t like me are present. It seems to me that the fun people take their kids to fun places and don’t mind other fun people.

Comparing the negative feedback to the positive is what enables me to relax and not worry too much about this. Many parents having complimented me after seeing how I play with the kids (all of them), but I cannot recall a single instance where a parent has come up to me and said something about it. That does not mean that there has never been a complaint though. When someone isn’t happy about me they never tell me. Instead they go silent or shoot facial expressions at me. I find it amusing that an adult would be afraid to confront a happy person who is playing with a bunch of kids. I am not intimidating in the least! And if there was a threat to the kids in terms of injury or even predation, WHY WOULD YOU GO SILENT?!  I have to admit that I am a very peaceful person and I avoid conflict and confrontation, but if I thought my children were in harm’s way, I would act and it would be decisive action. That line of thinking forces me to conclude that these parents have an interpersonal issue with me and not the way the children are playing with me.

Looking at this from another angle, because I started this writing about how we play at the school in the morning, I have to pay attention to what the school has to say about it all. Look, it’s February 7th 2012 and I have been the only one who has taken my girls to school all year. This (my behaviour) is not new, it’s not sudden and it’s obvious to most of the students. At the start of the school year I told the other kids that I could not even touch them because they’re not mine and so we only played tag. Over time I decided that if the school had a problem with me then they would tell me. There are teachers patrolling the kids like shepherds herding their flock every morning. They know who I am and they have seen me out in the open every day. When a teacher asked me not to stand near the lineup(s) of kids (because it’s a fire route) I pleasantly obliged. When the teacher told me to stand in the waiting area as an alternative I asked what my alternatives were and followed the recommendations.

They know I am not a bad person. In fact, when the school needs to reach a parent for either of my kids, I am the only one they can reach. I am the only one who signs their agendas and goes through their work with them on a regular basis, and their classroom teacher has lamented to me on more than one occasion that I am the only parent they have been able to reach all year. They know I am not a bad person.

But all of that knowing of me and any reputation that I have at the school really means nothing to the other parents. Yesterday morning a teacher in the yard saw me picking up a kid that wasn’t mine and that teacher shot me with eyeball lasers. We saw each other seeing each other and I smiled at him. He didn’t do anything. Just the stare. I thought that the poop was now on it’s way to the fan and I was right. A minute or two later, as I played with another group of kids, I noticed an adult-sized person headed right towards me. Ah-ha! The poop and fan delivery service was on its way! haha. A completely different teacher in the yard came straight up to me, I assume having previously spoken to Mr. Eyeball Lasers, and very nicely asked me not to pick up other children. I politely and readily agreed. She rephrased the request and stated it again, and I did the same. I felt like she was expecting resistance from me and didn’t know what to do when there wasn’t any.

I stood still for a minute or two to demonstrate to them that they had an impact on my behaviour. Then I took off into the field to find my daughters and deliver the news. I told them that the school asked me not to do that any more. The kids in this group all said AWW in unison, but not the kind of AWW when you see a cute kitten sleeping in the palm of someone’s hand. The kind of AWW that whines disapproval (obviously). When the bell rang I immediately grabbed MY kid, flipped her up onto my back and ran to her line. Then I located my other kid, flipped her onto my back and ran to her line. This was my way of clearly demonstrating that I am now only picking up MY kids, at THEIR request. The tone of the staff on the playground was tangibly different.

I thought no more of it and went home. It was to be expected and the only strange thing about it is that it took them until February to say something to me.

The 7 minute drive home was punctuated with a phone call from the school. The principal! She sounded nice enough at the start, saying the same thing that the teacher in the yard said but added that there was in fact no problem and that no parents had at all complained. Again, I held up the pleasant tone and agreed without resistance. She rephrased it, as if I hadn’t already agreed willingly. I agreed again. I tried to talk to her as though this was a phone conversation by saying that I understand their point of view and it’s not a problem. She then said something strange: “So this means that you will not be picking up children that are not yours? You agree?” Huh? Did I not just agree with your request? Did I not just agree with your staff in the yard? I couldn’t relate to this new stance and I wanted to engage her on it. Instead I responded in kind with, “Yes, that’s correct.”

Satisfied, she ended the call.

I was struck by the huge disconnect between the events, the history and the teachers. I recognized that she was trying to put me in my place. Well maybe that’s not fair to her. Maybe, as my eldest said when I told her about the phone call, she is just used to talking to kids so that’s how she is. Good point. Maybe she talks in a condescending fashion by default, after years of being the adult in charge of children. Whatever the case may be, there was no loss nor any harm.

So I understand the school’s point of view. They face the wrath parents. They face litigation. And they have to abide the guidelines set forth by their governing body, the district school board. They’re not at liberty to operate as independents because they’re not independent.

So there it is. Months of playing with kids, having fun and enjoying my mornings has changed to playing with kids without picking them up. Big deal That’s how it went this morning and STILL a parent warmly praised me for it.

I would LOVE to hear about your experiences. Comment below!

By Kristen Wolfe

You thought I didn’t really notice. But I did. I wanted to high-five you.

Yesterday I had a pair of brothers in my store. One was maybe between 15 and 17. He was a wrestler at the local high school. Kind of tall, stocky and handsome. He had a younger brother, who was maybe about 10 to 12 years old. The only way to describe him was scrawny, neat, and very clean for a boy his age. They were talking about finding a game for the younger one, and he was absolutely insisting it be one with a female character. I don’t know how many of y’all play games, but that isn’t exactly easy. Eventually, I helped the brothers pick a game called “Mirror’s Edge.” The youngest was pretty excited about the game, and then he specifically asked me, “Do you have any girl color controllers?” I directed him to the only colored controllers we have, which include pink and purple ones. He grabbed the purple one, and informed me purple was his FAVORITE.

The boys had been taking awhile, so their father eventually came in. He saw the game, and the controller, and started in on the youngest about how he needs to pick something different. Something more manly. Something with guns and fighting, and certainly not a purple controller. He tried to convince him to get the new Zombie game “Dead Island” and the little boy just stood there repeating, “Dad, this is what I want, OK?” Eventually it turned into a full-blown argument complete with Dad threatening to whoop his son if he didn’t choose different items.

That’s when big brother stepped in. He said to his dad, “It’s my money, it’s my gift to him. If it’s what he wants, I’m getting it for him, and if you’re going to hit anyone for it, it’s going to be me.” Dad just gave his oldest son a strong stern stare-down, and then left the store. Little brother was crying quietly. I walked over and ruffled his hair (yes, this happened all in front of me). I said, “I’m a girl, and I like the color blue, and I like shooting games. There’s nothing wrong with what you like. Even if it’s different than what people think you should.” I smiled, he smiled back (my heart melted!). Big brother then leaned down, kissed little brother on the head, and said, “Don’t worry, dude.”

They checked out and left, and all I can think is how awesome big brother is, how sweet little brother is, and how Dad ought to be ashamed for trying to make his son any other way.

This piece was originally published on Kristen’s blog, www.sweetupndown.tumblr.com.

The fight to to keep marriage equality in Iowa continues, help us support Iowans like Zach.

The sexual orientation of my parents has had zero effect on the content of my character.

He’s Doing it Right. Watch:

Read Dr. Mercola’s article on this:

Brittney gives an emotionally charged overview of what her life has been like for the past two years. She struggles daily with the fact her life has been forever changed. A doctor frightened her into taking the Gardasil vaccine by telling her she could get an HPV through a "possible" lab accident at college - where her blood could mingle with someone elses who had an HPV. She was never told HPV's are sexually transmitted diseases, and having no other information, she allowed herself to be given a vaccine she never needed. Now she wishes the TRUTH to be told - more testing of this vaccine is warranted before another young woman is injured.

During a Republican debate in Tampa, Florida, presidential hopeful Michele Bachmann (R-Minnesota) alleged that campaign contributions from drug company Merck—the maker of Gardasil—played “a pivotal role in Rick Perry’s 2007 executive order that mandated teenage girls in Texas be inoculated against HPV,” CNN reports.

The order did not go into effect, however, as it was later overturned by the legislature.

Still, it’s hard to overlook the potential for undue influence and conflict of interest. Perry responded that the company gave only $5,000 to his campaign.

However, Merck has contributed:

• $28,500 to Perry’s gubernatorial campaigns since January 2001, and
• $377,500 to the Republican Governors Association (one of the largest backers of Perry’s campaigns)

Furthermore, CNN reported that:

“Perhaps more importantly, Perry’s friend, former chief of staff Mike Toomey, spun through the revolving door to become a lobbyist for Merck in Texas, a position he held at the time of the HPV-related executive order.

… Perry’s actions benefiting donors from the pharmaceutical industry don’t appear to stop with Merck.

For instance, drug-maker Novartis Pharmaceuticals has also contributed handsomely to the Republican Governors Association and it has also benefited from Perry’s support. Novartis has donated $700,000 to the RGA since January 2006, although it has only directly donated $5,000 to Perry’s own campaign. In 2009, Perry signed a bill into law mandating meningitis vaccines for all college students, a requirement he expanded again earlier this year.”

MORE: http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2011/11/29/hpv-vaccine-risks.aspx?e_cid=20111129_DNL_art_1

Parents, how would you handle this?
Would you film it?
How long do you think it took those kids to make that mess?

Wow

When rats were fed genetically modified soy, what percentage of the babies do you think died within the first 3 weeks? Find out the answer and what you can do to avoid GMOs by viewing the video below. Follow No GMOs and be a part of this worthy cause.

Jeffrey M. Smith, author of Seeds of Deception

Researchers at the Child Study Center at Yale University divided moms into two groups — nine breast-feeders and eight formula-feeders — and performed functional MRIs (fMRI) on them about a month after their babies were born.

While participants lay in a scanner and listened to clips of their own baby and an unknown child crying, researchers tracked what areas of their brains lit up. All mothers’ brains were more active when listening to their own baby’s cry, but the changes in the breast-feeding mothers’ relevant brain regions were far more significant.

Breastfeeding is the least expensive and most effective way to improve and protect your baby’s health, and now a first-of-its-kind study also suggests that breastfeeding may have a direct impact on a mother’s brain, promoting ‘maternal behavior’ and increasing emotional bonding between the mother and child.

This is not altogether surprising, since breastfeeding promotes the increased release of oxytocin, also known as the “love hormone,” or “bonding hormone.”

Sources:

Mercola.com
Time Magazine May 20, 2011
Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry April 18, 2011; [Epub ahead of print]
Medical News Today May 30, 2011
Pediatrics May 29, 2011 [Epub ahead of print]
Birth: Issues in Perinatal Care May 20, 2011 [Epub ahead of print]

I don’t watch much television; I simply do not have the time. However, when I do have the opportunity, one of my favorite programs is Judge Judy. I like her show because to me, she is a woman with a lot of “horse sense.” If you have ever watched the show, she is not only entertaining, she is also very smart. She has the ability to see who is being responsible and who is not in almost every situation. Her judicial decisions always seem to favor the person who is being the most responsible and honest.

Not long ago, someone butted in on her as she was speaking. Right in the middle of what she was saying, they interrupted her with their own opinion. Judge Judy pointed her finger at the person and said, “You need to remember that in this courtroom, I’m the boss, Applesauce!” Everyone laughed, including the bailiff. As I said earlier, she mixes good humor with her wisdom in deciding cases.

By the way, most of the cases Judge Judy tries are ridiculous and silly in nature. However, people are willing to go to court over some of the most ridiculous and silly issues! To me, that is the sad part of the show. And, in case you do not think that these situations happen in real life, you should spend some time with me or travel with me and observe some of the things I have seen. It would certainly be an eye-opening experience! Let me tell you about one such incident.

Last year I was on a non-stop flight back to Atlanta from Japan. It was a long flight and everyone had settled down to enjoy the trip as much as possible. To my left, I noticed a gentleman sitting by the window. It was still light out and he had the window shade up so that he could read by natural light. Since he was sitting by the window, that was his prerogative. However, the flight attendant had asked that the window shades be lowered to provide darkness for those watching movies and for those who wanted to sleep. She suggested that anyone who preferred to read or work could turn on their overhead lights.

Well, the gentleman sitting by the window apparently didn’t like that idea because he did not comply with the flight attendant’s request. A few seats away, in the middle seating section, I noticed that a man motioned for the first gentleman to please lower his shade because he could not see the movie. His request was ignored. After a while, the second gentleman tried to get his attention again and was motioning for him to shut his window shade. He kept moving his hand up and down, demonstrating what he was asking him to do. Again he was ignored.

After a few moments, the gentleman in the middle section put a piece of paper in his mouth and chewed it up. Yes, he was creating a spit ball! I could hardly believe what I was watching! The gentleman in the middle section threw the spit ball at the man sitting beside the window and again motioned for him to lower his window shade. As you can imagine, that infuriated the man by the window and he started talking back to the man in the middle section, demanding to be left alone. Well, their conversation began to escalate and before long the flight attendant had to reprimand them and asked that they stop misbehaving. Again, let me remind you that these were not two children having a quarrel; these were two grown businessmen!

After the flight attendant calmed the situation and walked away, the man in the middle seating section made another spit ball and again threw it at the other man! Those of us nearby who were watching this drama were getting a little bit nervous. We thought a fight might break out at any moment. Once again the flight attendant had to come and talk to the two men, but she got nowhere with them. So, her next resort was to ask the captain of the airplane to talk to both of them. They were very uncooperative and each was sure that they were right. Each one wanted to be the boss.

When we finally landed in Atlanta and before any of us were allowed to leave the plane, the Atlanta police came aboard to escort the two men off. The last thing I saw as we were leaving the gate area was the police filling out a report on the altercation with the two “individuals” in custody. To call them “men” would be incorrect; they were behaving like grown little boys!

As I thought about it later, I realized that the root of the problem was that both of these men wanted to be right. Now, there is nothing wrong with wanting to be right; I believe everyone should strive to be right in everything that they do. However, they took it a step too far; they each had to be right! There is a big difference between wanting to be right and having to be right. It has been my experience that the people who have to be right are never happy. They live with the mindset that if they don’t get their way, they are going to “take their ball and go home!” It was a sad situation. Although humorous, it was very immature and inappropriate at its core.

If you are a judge in a courtroom, then you have the right to be the boss. If you own your own company, I suppose it is okay for you to have the final word. However, I have noticed in my own life that if I ever develop the attitude that I have to be right, I end up being wrong – and not very happy.

This week, take a closer look; do you want to be right or do you have to be right? The difference in those two may determine whether or not you throw a spit ball at another person and end up talking to the police. I hope that will not be the case!

Robert A. Rohm Ph.D.
Personality Insights, Inc.

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