I take my 5-year-old to school every morning and we are often one of the first to arrive. I like to stick around to watch him play, and I talk to some parents. At the beginning of the school year (such as now), almost every morning I see a child grasping desperately at their mom or dad as they’re left in the schoolyard. It breaks my heart to see that. They’re screaming, crying, trying everything they can to not be left behind by the most important person in their world.
In these moments I’m thankful to my boy for not doing that. Last year he did do it once or twice, briefly, but we got through it together and he went into school with minimal tears.
So, this morning, after watching 3 different kids fall apart as their parents left them, I decided to look into what parents can do. Here’s what I found:
Develop a daily routine.
Create a time in your child’s day where YOU read to them, where YOU talk with them.
Create 1-on-1 Time.
If you have more than 1 child, create a time slot for each one of them to be with you where they have your complete and undivided attention. Maybe not on the same day, maybe both parents can each take 1 kid. Figure it out.
Stick to it.
Getting this started is great, but sticking to it for years is the challenge that will pay off.
Remember that this is not for you; it’s for your child.
Your child will come to crave this attention from you. You may not realize this, but kids calm right down when they know that they can have your undivided attention. They feel secure, at ease, comfortable.
You’ll find that these conversations and reading sessions will be become enlightening. Your child will eventually start sharing their deeper thoughts with you.
Every time I look at what my kids are doing/have done in the Royal Canadian Air Cadet program I can’t help but look back at my youth and realize that I completely wasted it. Sometimes I just sit with that crappy feeling for days as I agonize over my lost personal development opportunities. Ultimately, what gets me out of that mental trap is the obvious realization that I would not actually choose to do my past differently because it would prevent me from having the family that I have now.Read More »
In this article the author discusses his 5th child attending middle school where he is a teacher, and very clearly describes the things he will be teaching his child – indirectly and sometimes directly.
Here’s a summary of the ideas, but go check it out in full:
One of the things we do as parents is race around from place to place trying to make sure that our kids get to all their activities on time. Part of that chaos is preceded by constant pushing of our kids to be ready.
This is unproductive because it is unsustainable.
If we manage their time, they will not learn how to do it themselves.
Bruce Lee(李小龍, 1940-11-27 to 1973-07-20 [32yrs]) is a Martial Arts icon known throughout the world as one of the best –if not THE best– martial artist to ever live. He changed the game not only for martial arts training in North America, but also for how Asians are represented in Hollywood, inspiring countless people all over the planet to become actors, fighters, and teachers. He was my idol when I was in high school and remains an influential figure to me today.
He was an absolute boss; he trained literally all the time, even while driving. More than a sensational fighter he was also a movie and TV star, a passionate husband and father, a deep philosophical thinker and devourer of books. He developed his own styles: Jun Fan Gung Fu and later Jeet Kune Do, which are filled with his thoughts on not conforming to the rigidity of a single style and the exploration of what is most effective for the individual in any given situation. Perhaps he is even the founder of the now ultra-popular MMA sport.
How does this all apply to Parenting? Well, his philosophies on living up to your potential are timeless, ageless, and we should be teaching them to our kids. Bruce Lee was not about kicking ass or building muscles. Bruce Lee was about reaching deep inside yourself and dragging a better you to the surface.
For the past 70 years, scientists in Britain have been studying thousands of children through their lives to find out why some end up happy and healthy while others struggle. It’s the longest-running study of human development in the world, and it’s produced some of the best-studied people on the planet while changing the way we live, learn and parent. Reviewing this remarkable research, science journalist Helen Pearson shares some important findings and simple truths about life and good parenting.