Some Things Are Better Left Unsaid (to your children)

This is a bad example of co-parenting.

As I write this I am most of the way through my 34th year on this planet. I am not the smartest or wisest person out there, but I am also not the dumbest or most ignorant either. So you can take my words with a grain of salt, ignore them or add to them. It’s your choice. I have something to say about co-parenting, and here it goes.

(You can skip past my story and go straight to “What to do,” below)

My parents split up when I approximately 12 years old. I wasn’t through grade 8 yet, and to be honest my memory of my childhood is filled with massive blank spaces that I have to fill in with recollections from family members. The things that I do manage to remember on my own tend to be important or emotionally charged events, such as my parents fighting. Except once they split up the fighting stopped and there was a big void in my world. My older sister and I stayed with our father as he forced our mother out of the house.

At that point in time I didn’t shed a tear about the situation because my dad had already put a good deal of effort into sharing his anger for her with me. I look back at these memories as both an adult and a father myself, and I see things with so much clarity now.

After she left he would spend even more time telling me about all the ways that she wronged him. I listened quietly, never second guessing a thing that he said, never once using my own thinking capacity. I grew to hate her.Read More »