My 5yo didn’t eat his sandwich at lunchtime today, so he was obviously extra hungry after school. First, he told me he ate it and when I showed it to him in the bag he said: “that’s nothing.” So I said, “that’s what you have to eat, nothing else until dinner.” He chose to finish his goldfish crackers – all 6 of them. Fine.
He circled back for more snacks so I said: “finish the sandwich.” Initially, he didn’t want to eat it because he said he doesn’t like the meat in it. Alright, I hear that, but he has been eating it so I’m not just going to let that slide. If I do I risk it becoming a trend, “all I have to do is say I don’t like it and I get out of eating it.” I pushed back. Eventually, he took it and showed it to me as he took a bite. Perfect! Then he quietly wanders out of the room for a minute. When he returns he proudly tells me that he ate it all really quickly!
Duh! “Did you put it in the garbage?… Tell me the truth.” Read More »
I saw this poster on Facebook and thought it was worth sharing, but as I prepared to re-post it I thought that I’d put my spin on it, because maybe I have some OK enough ideas.
Go outside and kick sometime – preferably a ball so you don’t break anything important, like your foot, or anything else that would mean you need to calm down all over again.
Go outside and run somewhere – best to a place where you can actually return from (instead of a dangerous area). Also, only if you can actually run.
Go into your room and punch your pillow. Close the door first so no one sees you as they may not understand. Also, ensure your pillow isn’t close to anything harder than your fists or you’ll need to calm down all over again when your tiny hand bones crack against the bed frame.
Listen to music that you already know relaxes you, rather than music that gets you pumped up. That means, no angry music, or sad music either. Keep the volume decent because excessive loudness is likely to have the opposite effect.
Close your eyes and imagine a calm place. Try to image the smells, sounds, feelings, tastes as well as how it looks. The more senses you put on it the more effective the visualization will be.
Draw a picture of what’s bothering you, but draw it quickly and with limited effort. Once you’ve done that, crumple it up and throw it away. Then draw something that is not part of what is bothering you. Put more effort into this one, and then show it to someone whom you know will appreciate it. If you go to the wrong person you will probably have a new reason to need calming.
Write a letter to your future self. Tell your future self all the reasons you’re upset right now, and how you got there. When you’re done with that, tell your future self something funny, or silly because later, when your future self (you) reads it they’re going to appreciate your younger self’s humor.
Read a book that you’re into. If you’re not into a book at the moment, read a book that you think you’d like. If you can’t do either, try something else on this list.
Talk to someone whom you know cares about you. Before you start, tell them that you are just letting your feelings out (venting) and that you’re not looking for advice this time. This will prepare them, letting them know how to handle the situation. It’s relieving to be able to let it all out without fear of judgement or correction.
Ask someone whom you know cares about you for a hug. Sometimes the best way to do that is to say, “I need a hug,” and then open your arms to them. It takes a special kind of mean to refuse a hug to someone in need.